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Tuesday, January 17

Refresh

Fingers trembling knuckles bruised invisible to others
Anxiety unexplained tightening my stomach I feel like throwing up although I haven't eaten anything for days or at least I can't remember
Is it because of you or is it them or is it me going mad again?
I hate you. How can you still be on my mind when I don't even miss you anymore?
I woke up all alone one morning and then I knew I had always been alone
Why are you still here when I have decided, I have decided this is not your place anymore it has never been but a dream
I woke up
in the middle of the night scared that it was morning and I hadn't heard the alarm
I remembered you
I am looking for the pill but relief is temporary and I just want to turn the page change the chapter burn the book
I do not want you anymore why does my heart cringe at these words why do I still feel? I have decided!
You've turned me into a non-believer. I don't believe in love anymore. Therefore, I don't believe in anything.
If it was me who left then why do I feel like the one being left behind? But I have decided...
Refresh. No message from you or from them or from god.

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